Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
