he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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