y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Congratulations! We have a period
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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