I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
