On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize