I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
