No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
