Kiss
Puke
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
