East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im drinking this country out of the recession.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just google imaged poop.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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