he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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