well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
