Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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