week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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