come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
