She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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