Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
