ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
