what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
