Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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