i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
