I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
