Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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