dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
