Apparently you make a good broom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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