is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
