How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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