That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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