Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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