Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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