my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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