Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
