I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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