I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
