I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
