Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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