I'm going to jail i love you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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