U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
