It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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