I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize