Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
