Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
