I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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