like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
