so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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