Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Randomize
