I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
