The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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