im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
