At least make sure they are 18
Why
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bring me that man meat
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
