Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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