think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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