Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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