Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize