i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
