3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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