i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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