i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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