there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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