i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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