I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
