I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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