The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
