You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
