I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
